I am often asked if I only take clients that want an unmedicated birth, which is followed by a long explanation of why they think a Mom planning to get an epidural wouldn’t even need a doula. I have thought about this a lot as of lately. I want to start off by saying that as a doula I support you 100% in ANY type of birth you want and support you with any choices you make during your pregnancy, labor and birth. This is not my birth. It is YOUR birth. You know what is best for you and your family, and I will be there to support you in any decisions you make. I attended a birth with a Mom that made the decision to get an epidural, and after she told me that if I wanted I could go home. She thought that now that she had the epidural she was just going to sleep and wouldn't need me anymore. It broke my heart a little that she thought that, but I assured her that there was still plenty that I could do to help her. She did rest for a little after the epidural was placed, but it wasn't more than an hour later that she realized she still needed me. What do I do when a client has an epidural? Here are a few main things a doula will do: 1. Help maintain the emotions of the room. It can be difficult with all the different nurses and doctors coming in and out of the room to maintain the peaceful, calm, positive energy that the mother wants during her labor. I help keep the mood that the mother desire to have during labor and birth. Keeping the lights down, quiet music playing in the background if she would like, making sure the temperature of the room is just right for mom. Sometimes these things aren’t thought to be important or desired, but they are just as important in a medicated birth as an unmedicated birth. 2. Relaxation When a mom has planned for an unmedicated birth and things didn’t go as planned, a lot of the time her emotions can get the better part of her. She can be disappointed, angry, feel defeated, etc. Just because she may not be experiencing the pain of labor, it is likely that she will still have the feelings of anxiety that come along with birth and becoming a parent. As a doula I will help her stay calm and focus on the birth of her baby by using massage and breathing exercises. Being able to relax is important in any birth to allow progress to happen. 3. Positioning for comfort and progress A mother does not have to say stay flat on her back when an epidural is being used. There are other positions that can be used with an epidural to help labor progress and may be more comfortable for Mom. Working with her spouse we can help move mom around into different positions since she won’t be able to move much without any help. We can use the peanut ball, which helps open the pelvic. 4. Collaborate communication and understanding with medical staff Doulas don’t speak in behalf of clients, but we can help our clients know the right questions to ask, or help you understand what is being asked or requested of you by hospital staff. Medical staff uses a lot of terminology that is not easily understood. A doula can help you understand everything that is being said or done means, and make sure you are ok and agree with it all. 5. Postpartum care After baby is born there is still a lot that goes on that a doula can help with. Making sure that immediate skin-to-skin takes place, assist with the initial breast feeding, helping Mom and Dad get a healthy meal after you are settled, give mom and dad time to bond with baby, and keep visitors to a minimum directly postpartum. I hope that you see the value in a doula no matter the type of birth you have. We are there to support you physically and emotionally in whatever decisions you make for your family and as my motto states, “Working together to achieve your perfect birthing experience.”
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Several years ago one of my dear friend, Suzie, was expecting her first baby. Suzie’s husband worked about 30 minutes out of town, and they only had 1 car at the time, and they didn’t have any family in the same state. I was her back up ride to the hospital if she was to go into labor while her husband was away. I would get off work and head to her apartment. We would always end up talking about various pregnancy and birth related topics. Since I wasn’t married yet kids weren’t in my near future. I didn’t know a ton about pregnancy and birth but I LOVED to talk about it and couldn’t wait to experience it myself!
Suzie had spent a lot of time reading books, and reading material to educate herself on all the different possibilities that could occur at any birth! She had planned on an un-medicated birth in a hospital and had done her research as how to achieve that. As a couple they attended a birth class and actively did the exercises that they learned in class at home so they would be prepared. At the time of all this I didn’t understand or see the value behind all that they did. I was pretty naïve. It wasn’t until a few years later when I got married and my husband and I became pregnant with our first son that I realized just how little I really knew. I reached out to my friend and started picking her brain with all that she knew and her experience with the birth of her baby! But even then, there was still PLENTY of research that I had to do myself. Morning sickness hit me like a ton of bricks! It isn’t normal to lose 25 lbs. in 5 weeks because morning sickness is so extreme! With several trips to the E.R. for dehydration I would always follow up with my OB. Unfortunately he just gave me a pathetic pat on my back and said “Eat more protein, it will help!” and sent me on my way. I may not be a doctor and didn’t have much experience being pregnant, but I knew something was NOT right! My OB didn’t seem too concerned about it, but I knew that this was not the typical morning sickness. I took matters into my own hands and after researching much on my own and talking with friends and family I quickly realized that I had all the symptoms of Hyperemesis Gravidarum and felt very strongly that I was one of the lucky few who get to experience HG (insert sarcasm). To make a long story short, My OB was not helpful with the questions and concerned I had and seemed to be very bothered that I even asked about HG. I quickly switched providers and after my first visit with my new provider and explaining my symptoms he quickly offered sympathy and agreed with me that I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum. We worked together to come up with a few different approaches we would try to help ease my HG. SO you might be asking how all of this relates to empowering yourself thru study and research. My cute friend was able to achieve her un-medicated hospital birth despite the fact that she had a few minor complications that arouse. BUT because she had put the time into study and research she knew what to do to handle different situations. She took the time to find a care provider she felt would support and encourage her in her decisions. Together with her husband and midwife they worked out a plan on how they would overcome those obstacles so she could have the birth she wanted. In my situations, I could have easily just gone along with what my first OB said and eat more chicken and eggs in hopes my “morning sickness” would go away. It would have saved me a lot of time sitting at a computer which actually made me even sicker if I chose to be complacent with the answers I had been given. But we as women have an amazing power within us called Intuition. I was not ok with the responses I had received and knew that this was much more than just morning sickness. As I studied and read and researched more and more I came to find out HG and that it can potentially be life threatening. Mothers have lost their lives because of this condition! Your become malnourished, dehydrated, stomach ulcers, losing up to 10% of your pre-pregnancy weight in a short amount of time, esophageal damage, etc.… In my case, I was about 8 weeks along when it started. I tried to make it thru my work days without having to take many trips to the bathroom simply because I wasn’t “allowed” to. Around 10 weeks I was to the point that I was throwing up every 15-20 minutes, and it was just stomach acid. It was horrible. I took a leave of absence from my work expecting to return around in a month or 2 months at the longest. Those 2 months came and went with several trips to the E.R. and there was no light at the end of the tunnel for me in the near future. Consequently, I ended up having to resign from my position. It was really hard for me to fully enjoy my pregnancy and all the exciting mile stones you reach thru those 10 months. My decision to switch providers came as I learned more about HG, and researched the different providers that had experience dealing with it. Once I had switched to a different care provider and began to get the attention and care that is needed during such a difficult pregnancy, things began to get a little better. I was able to tolerate it much more then I had before. Don’t get me wrong, it was still no stroll in the park by any means! When I say better I mean in the fact that I kept rice crispy cereal, or rice Chex cereal down for more than 30 minutes!! That was a HUGE success!! But had I not taken the time to research HG and its risk, and different ways to manage it, and the importance of getting proper care, there is no telling what the outcome of my birth would have been. This is just my example of how educating yourself can make a big difference in your pregnancy, labor and delivery! There are hundreds of stories out there of success stories that were successful because they took the time to research, to become knowledgeable and then were able to form their own decision based on their knowledge and intuition! NOT to say that if you don’t research and study that you won’t have a successful story, but you will be much more empowered and involved in the decisions that occur during pregnancy and birth. I wish you all the best of luck and success in your journey! Once you have decided to hire a Doula it can be overwhelming to start the process. I put together a list that can help make it an enjoyable and stress-free experience.
Step 1: Know what you want. It is important to know what type of birth you would like. Are you planning for an un-medicated birth, are you planning to have an epidural, or a C-section? Will you be delivering at home, a birth center, or a hospital? Knowing these details can help guide you to find a doula that is familiar and experienced with the type of birth you want. For example, if you are planning to have an un-medicated birth at a hospital, but are opened to having an epidural or other pain management options it would be best to find a doula that has similar views as you. If you were to pick a doula that is more on the crunchy side or doesn’t agree with medicated pain management options it could cause an uneasy birth environment for you during your labor. Side note- No matter what type of birth you are planning you are going to be a complete rock star!! Step 2: Comfortable connection When inviting additional people into your birthing circle you want to make sure that these are people that you feel comfortable around. This is such an intimate moment. You need to feel safe and supported to have an atmosphere of peace during labor. You need people around you that will support the atmosphere and your birth goals. If they don’t then lets quote Sweet Brown “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Have you ever been in a setting that is more private or vulnerable but have someone you don’t know or feel comfortable around present? It can cause stress, anxiety, or even fear to surface. All of these can cause labor to stall, and we don’t want that happening! That is why it is important to find a Doula that you feel at ease with, someone that you click with. This doesn’t mean you have to interview dozens of Doulas in person. Step 3: Doula Surf Another way to simplify the process is by visiting different doula’s website. Most doulas will have an ‘about me’ section, and/or testimonials. Of course you won’t get a big impression of what this person is like, but it will help guide you in the right direction. Make a list of doulas that could possibly be a good fit for you. I suggest a list of 7-10 to start with. A list that is too long will contribute to the feelings of being overwhelmed. Step 4: Dial the Digits The next step will help you narrow down your list even more. You can get a good sense of a person’s personality over a phone conversation. Set a time aside to call each one for a brief phone call. Questions you can ask during this step could be; do you have availability for my estimated due date, do you have any experience with births at my birthing facility, and do you have other services that you offer? Step 5: Meet ya at Starbucks Once you have a list of 2 or 3 that you feel would be a good fit for you then go ahead and set up interviews with them in person. (Don’t toss the other list of doulas you had picked to call in case you need to refer back to it later.) Now that you have got to this point, what do you ask in your interviews? These interviews don’t have to feel super official or structured necessarily. You want the conversation to flow naturally. You can still ask questions to get more direct answers and information that you are looking for, but pay attention to how you feel throughout the interview. What kind of impression does she give you? Sometimes it is hard to know what questions to ask a Doula during the face to face interview. I believe that there is a lot to be said about why a doula chose to become a doula. This will give you a deeper insight to who she is as a person outside of her role as a doula. Don’t be afraid to ask questions that might seem too deep or involved. These are good questions that will help you get to know her and how she can help you in all situations of labor that might arise. Some questions that are good to ask are: What sort of training have you had? Are you certified? How many births have you attended? How many clients do you take per month? Do you have a backup doula? Am I able to meet her? How much do you charge? What is included in your packages? Are there types of pain relief or interferences you do not support? Why? Will you support me thru my decisions? Are you a Mother? Is she willing to share her birth experiences with you? And the one I feel is the most important of them all which you will ask yourself; do you feel comfortable with her, do you trust her? Like I said earlier, don’t let this stress you out. Make sure you start early enough that you don’t have to rush the process. When you are about 18-20 weeks is a good time to start the process. Keep your list smaller and more manageable to keep yourself from becoming stressed. This is a process that should make you excited for your birth! Another tip I would add is to ask friends or family for help. Ask for referrals from those you know have already had a doula. If a friend has had a doula that she just loves then she may also be a good match for you. I hope this will help you as you search for your doula and help keep in an enjoyable part of your pregnancy. |
Cinda FishHi, my name is Cinda and I have a Pregnancy and Birth addiction. But seriously, I could talk about it all day long! Archives
August 2016
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